Coraline's 5th Birthday

Coraline is five years old today. She doesn’t know it’s her birthday and she doesn’t know she’s got presents as she does not yet understand these concepts.

She does know she’s safe and happy and is loved by us. She knows she loves food, toys and TV. She knows the streets which lead to our house, or to our old house or to Margaret and Dave’s house. We know by her tears when we pass by but don’t go in. So we try not to take the roads leading to our house, unless we are actually going home.

She knows when she hates something or when it makes her mad. She knows she doesn’t like us brushing her hair, or putting sunscreen on her face, or drying her hair. She knows when she’s had too much stimulation, and we know too as we can’t settle her.

Kevin said yesterday, on his birthday, “being a parent isn’t just about the good days, when everything’s going as you want it to; it’s about all the days, the ones when she gets mad and things are hard too”. She can get mad when it’s too much of the unknown and, as her parents, we have learned to see that. But then Coraline calms after a time in a new situation and the unknown becomes the known. It’s about allowing her the space to get to that point. Being a parent is about standing with the unknown too, as one day it becomes the known.

The day Coraline was born we entered the great unknown. And that has been our greatest privilege.