Is self care important?

I've joined a group of mums to answer a question each Monday!

This week's question is, "as a parent of a child with special educational needs, is self care important? What do you do to take care of yourself?”

Oh gosh yes, 100%, so important, but I think it's the key for us all, whoever we are!

Self care makes you feel joyous and happy, and then you bring that energy to whatever you're doing.

To me self care, as well as making time to do things you love (I wrote a post last week about doing the top ten things that make you happy,) is also about the way you talk to yourself. That's its base layer. So you talk to yourself kindly and happily and with encouragement. If ever I start to think, " I should be doing this for Coraline," or "I should be better at Makaton" then I notice all the "shoulds". I do Kevin's trick of just allowing or accepting whatever I am thinking, and I know that choosing kinder thinking is where it's at.

I am often writing "my old lifecoach said this", or "my old life coach said that"! But, if I think about it, everything she was teaching me was about self care. She would talk about "kinder thinking" and choosing the way you talk to yourself, and about valuing yourself.

There's so many things I love for self care: reading, watching TV series, going out with friends and family, travel (that's a huge one for me), nature, wild swimming, ten pin bowling, seeing the beauty in small things, stickers, going for tiny jogs, walks and writing cards to friends and family. My favourite place to be is by the sea. But I think what you need most is time to make them happen. I feel lucky that I have this, thanks to my neighbour Margaret who hangs out with Coraline a lot. I appreciate relaxation more now that we have Coraline, as you don't take having time for yourself for granted, so you savour it. Kev and I are also big on doing gratitude for things, as that's a form of self care as it sets up your mindset.

Kev and I go out once a week each with friends, and I catch up with different friends each time. I take the train into central London which takes about half an hour. I love going out for dinner and drinks, and laughing! We also factor in going out together, though that's less often, but just as important. This is us at our friends Caroline and Guy's wonderful wedding this Saturday in London whilst Nana was over from Ireland and looked after Coraline. Kevin was very pleased with his "double velv" look as he called it (velvet jacket and velvet tie). That's a form of self care I reckon for Kev - wearing his velvet jacket! His self care is cooking as he just loves it. I do feel like I make loads of time for self care, especially as Coraline is in bed by 7pm each night.

Self care is also talking to Kev or friends if anything is occasionally on my mind to do with Coraline e.g. about medical appointments, as then, as soon as I tell him, it feels like it's dissolved. So that's important. Sharing! Being honest! Also, there's practical stuff. As Coraline is not yet walking, I carry her between rooms if I need us to go to a different room, or out to the car, so it's a lot of picking up! Self-care in terms of that is making sure I bend my knees when I pick her up!

For Kev and me, because each day we make time for ourselves, and love the little things, self care kind of takes care of itself, as it's our way of life! I think we are very conscious of how it underpins everything.

So, in short, is self care important? Yes, the most important of all!

If you want to see what other mums have said on this topic, follow this hashtag #youcantpourfromanemptycup