Glowing with who we are

Last night Kevin and I did the Tony Robbins “Evening power” questions. We don’t normally do them but I have had them printed out from a page of his book, "Awaken the Giant Within" for years. They are:

What have I given today?
What did I learn today?
How has today added to the quality of my life, or how can I use today as an investment in my future?

For the last question, I said that it had been a big moment that day at soft play. We saw an 11 month old baby zooming past crawling, and pulling himself up on everything. Surrounded by all the children Coraline's age careering down slides and climbing into the ball pool, I sat there, on the floor with Coraline, and I felt an acceptance and love for what they were up to, and a big appreciation of what we were up to.

What was remarkable about yesterday was, it was as though we were glowing with who we were ourselves. It was not just that I had accepted the movement around us, which I had some time back. I realised in a deep way how much I had grown through our experiences. I had changed because of our journey, and I had an inner stillness.

I felt the richness of our life. I thought, wow look at us sitting here and what we have learned these past two years which has formed us. I felt so proud of Coraline, and a huge contentment at everything in Coraline’s 21 months of age, leading to that moment of richness. Keeping her well for a year before her operation, her operation itself, the magnetism of Coraline’s personality, all the people we have met, family, friends, our neighbours, our antenatal group, all Coraline's therapists and the groups we go to.

It has all shaped us to see the depth of life and to notice others and their lives with more of a keenness. I felt that all we had lived along the way had brought us here to this feeling of gratitude for the richness of who we are, and I thought about who Coraline has made me. The children spinning around us, and us sat there, a sunny core.

I suppose what I am saying is I noticed what we have, and how deep what we have is. It’s as though our journey, and our speed, might be a bit different, but I felt a gratitude for it, and a knowing that it’s actually built an inner stillness. Wow!