Let go

On my aunt’s balcony in Melbourne

In these first days of the new year I am reflecting on what my (almost 17 month old) daughter has taught me. I call the post “let go”. 

I used to hold onto a number of thoughts so tightly, which felt so important. If they were a ball of wool, Coraline has tugged at it and the strands have unravelled. If they were a huge stone, she’s chiselled it away. If they were a ball, she’s chosen not to catch it when I threw it. If they were worth holding onto, I’d have held onto them more tightly.

The thoughts? 

“What will people think? I must control this. It must be this way.”

As they fall away, acceptance in the everyday takes place in ways so subtle, yet so profound, that I notice how I’m acting differently in how I respond to a situation. The best way to put it is that my spirit has spread out.

A good friend recently said - “you’ve changed - you used to hold onto everything so tightly and be so fixed”. She said the change began with Kevin and was followed with Coraline.

These are a few pictures of me and Coraline on our first morning in Australia today. If you have a look closely you can see the unravelling and the chiselling as we brush against each other each day. Like a butterfly’s wing. A palimpsest. Let go, let be, let love.