First Mother's Day

I’ve travelled a lot for work. I mean a lot. To the extent that people would write, “I can’t believe you’re off again”. To Sri Lanka, Pakistan, Oman, the Arctic Circle, Greece, Portugal and so on. I would throw myself hugely into every trip; immersing myself from the moment my feet stepped off the plane (or even on the plane - I love planes!) and getting excited beforehand. I have been so fortunate in my job. Last week I said,

“I haven’t been on a plane in ten months”.

I’d also travel at any opportunity for personal holidays. One of my recent yearly destinations was the Hollywood Hills where my younger brother lived for three years (this t-shirt was kindly received from him after Coraline was born). I would jog down Mulholland Drive, marvel at the houses, delight in ice from his fridge’s ice machine and sit on the balcony, warming in the sun, watching the hummingbirds and gazing at the cityscape. No, really that’s how it was! Not to mention all the hilarity and escapades.

The first time I went with my friend Payne, the second alone and the third with Kevin. 

My brother has now moved back to London, but if I was to go again, who would I take? My daughter Coraline; because today I can say I am a mother! That made me smile writing it.

I said to my old lifecoach, at a catch up with her and my brother in January, that one thing I am a bit nostalgic for is the travels, but I don't mind too much as I know we will resume them. We will wait to go on planes until Coraline is older and stronger, given her heart checks and such. Plus I know we will go all out when we do go, we will take her on the wildest of adventures and explorations! My old lifecoach @sophia_davis_coach  said to me,

“if you want to go away on travels, what is the feeling you’re looking to get?”

So here is the feeling I get: excitement, wonder, can’t wait to explore, love everything, love everyone I meet, so many new sensations, so happy”. And of course it’s not like that all the time; that’s just the overarching feelings. 

True enough, if I stop to notice, I have all those feelings right here, as a mother. I can spend hours just looking at Coraline, and I do. She fills me with the deepest of love that I had not experienced before, like another geological layer in soil! Being a mother has also made me really appreciate my own mother, and realise what her love for me is like. The other incredible thing about Coraline is that I am learning so much about life through her. Everyday I am brought back to what matters in life. It’s all about enjoying, noticing and being present in the little things and seeing them with the same eyes as I do when I’m in the Hollywood Hills. 

Joshua Tree National Park, June 2014